Finally managed to drag myself out the house yesterday on account of Nanny needing a few items before tomorrow’s dress rehearsal. Some red lippy, jewels, tits and a bra.
I thought let’s go cheap as chips and nip to Poundland. So I did. I managed to pick up all I needed including the bra. The tits caused some trouble but I decided on one of those bean filled travel neck rests. I thought, I know they’re droopy but then I imagine Nanny Nutall’s boobs to look like spaniel tabs anyway.
I took all items in a basket to the till. The young lad behind the till looked extremely puzzled with every item he grabbed out of the basket. Make- up, a bra, a travel neck rest, a pack of 3 buenos (sod it there only a pound) and costume jewellery.
All under £20, I gladly tapped my debit card onto the machine and walked off as quickly as I could. Then my worst nightmare when I here, “excuse me”. I turned to discover it had not gone through. I went back and we tried again. DECLINED! I was deeply embarrassed, not only because the card declined but because of what I was actually buying.
I went over to the local Tesco and attempted to withdraw the cash. Only when I selected the amount computer said no. Sheer shock. I rang the number on the back of the card and sat in the car waiting to speak with someone. A lady answered and said “we’re havin’ system issues, the systems gone down. Can you ring back in an hour?”. No I proclaimed. I need the money now for essential items. She said “well it should be back up and running some time after 6pm”.
With only £9 in cash I went back to Poundland. I said I’ll take nine items now and then pop back in the morning to get the rest. I settled up and left.
This morning I headed off back to Poundland and spoke to the lady on the till. I explained the situation and said I’d come to collect my remaining items. She then asked, what were they? Here we go again. I reeled off the peculiar pieces selected a day previous, were they there? Were they chuff!
Apparently they’d been put back yesterday once the shop closed. Baring in mind, they were closing the shop when I left. Which I imagine means that, as soon as I’d walked out of the door, the daft lad serving me must have grabbed the stuff to put back immediately.
The whole ordeal was rather stressful both yesterday and today. On the plus side, when I got home last night, Nikki was there with a big bag of make up. I lay down and she went to work on creating a divine look for dame Nanny Nuttall. This being the end result…
So please, if you haven’t yet got your ticket, drop me a message and I’ll get one ordered for you. Don’t be fooled by my bad mouthed antics on here, it’s a family show so bring the kids and I’ll keep it clean. It really is a cracking show and the bigger the audience the better!